dozydormouse: (Default)
[personal profile] dozydormouse
This analogy for bereavement was in Thyme Out by Katie Fforde it isn't new or orignial it is more or less the same analogy given to me by the hospice nurse when Gramps was dying but expressed beautifully. So I post it here to remind me and because it might help someone else. I do know the analogy helped me through some very hard weeks then and seven years later when Granny died.

"She said when you lose someone you love, the days go by so slowly, and the loss leaves a vast, immeasurable hole in your life. But gradually , after years, sometimes, very very slowly, the hole begins to close. It's like darning, she said. Slowly, , slowly, you place threads across the hole and weave them together, until eventually, after decades, maybe, you find the hole has gone... There's still a bloody great darn there, of course, the sock is never whole again, but at least your toes don't stick out anymore."

Now for me that works, it sums up exactly how it is excpet of course I have never had a terrible loss to bear. Loving people and losing them hurts but those I have lost went in the natural order of things, it was painful but not the unfair unbearable kind of loss. One expects to bury ones grandparents and one knows one will probably have to bury ones parents. A spouse would take a very long time - I do not think my grandmother has finished her darning after 24 years. If it were a child or young sibling I imagine the hole might never close completley

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dozydormouse

January 2012

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